Sunday, June 8, 2014

Loveology: book review



Tony and I have been married for 20 years and through those years we have felt the peaks and valleys that come with marriage. I remember at one point early in our marriage, thinking to myself how easy my parents made marriage seem. What was their secret? Were we doing something wrong?

Last month, through BookLook Bloggers, I had the opportunity to read Loveology, written by John Mark Comer. Comer writes in a way that makes you feel as if he is having a conversation with you. I found he had many of the same questions I have thought about over the years and wishing I had read this 20 years ago. This is a book I will have our three children read.

Comer talks about God, love, dating, marriage, and sex. As I read, I would fold down the corner on my favorite pages and by the end of the book that I had turned down almost half of the pages. Here are some of the key points that I found most compelling:

We will have friction in our marriage because we are a work in process, we are not perfect! God is working and marriage exposes those places. This is a gift. I needed to stop and reflect on this chapter for awhile. When I think back to those times in our marriage when there was friction and we brought it to God to heal, we were stronger for it. Made our marriage stronger...a gift.

The point of marriage isn't to find our missing half. It's to help each other become all that God intended. Our future, real selves. In marriage, two people partner to the end. They see the best in each other-the person God created them to be-and push and pull each other toward that goal. (Comer, p.073)

Lets talk sex...gasp! I know this is a family blog and yes my children read this blog, but remember I said I will have them read this book. He speaks about the power of sex and how it relates to singles and to marriage. You'll have to read the book to find out more, but he works with a young congregation and does a nice job answering some of their difficult questions.

When you love someone you are taking them for the way they are today, not the way you want to them to be. Marriage is not to be viewed as a project and you should not marry someone hoping they will change or thinking you can change them. Don't marry a project. Marry a partner (Comer, p.153).

Our partners come with strengths and weaknesses, just as we ourselves bring our own strengths and weakness to the table. It is through the gift of marriage we are able to work towards the wonderful plans God has for our lives. The gift of life given to each of us.

Through the years Tony and I have learned many of these lessons. Sometimes the road was rocky but thank goodness for a God full of grace, power of prayer, and a couple who valued this gift of marriage. We are looking forward to see what the next 20 years will bring us. This is a book I will have each of our children read as they reach adulthood and wonder about, God, love, marriage, and sex.

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